I’m really happy that Callan’s seeing Dylan less. I don’t know if he believes or even cares that he’s second best and that Dylan only wants to hang out when he’s got no one else, but that’s really how it is. Callan tried to justify seeing him by saying “I don’t get upset when you see your friends that I don’t like that” but that’s not the same thing at all and I think that maybe I got that through to him. Last night Kieran went to Jemma’s which meant that Dylan had nothing to do. Callan said Dylan asked him to come over but he told him he was sick and he stayed home and played Dota with me and i really do appreciate it a lot that he didn’t go and that he would do that for me. It makes me feel really important.
At the beach party last Saturday Dylan terrified me. Seeing his eyes all big from the drugs made him look crazy and evil - he scared me almost as much as Mitch did. When I saw him with his arms wrapped around Phoebe it made me feel sick because it felt like he was faking his affections to lure her in and use her for his own selfish and sick needs. Everything he did just seemed pretend and I didn’t trust him at all. When Andre left my side for a few minutes and Dylan was near me I freaked out and got really upset and scared that something bad was going to happen, If I ever hang out with him again I won’t be doing any drugs, unless maybe I just smoke a little to chill me out. I can’t be around him anymore.