DBT isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I like my psychologist (Tanya) and I understand myself a little better now that I know I have borderline personality disorder. I still feel weird thinking that that’s what I have but it makes so much sense that I can’t believe I’ve never been diagnosed with it before. A part of DBT is group therapy. Tanya thinks that rather than going into the group for people that self harm that I should go into the group for people with eating problems. I don’t think I have an eating disorder but I definitely have some sort of problem with food.
I went to Centrelink last week for an assessment to try and get more help from my job agency and I ended up with 6 months exemption from job seeking which is pretty cool. The lady I spoke to at the assessment said I need time to sort myself out first, and she also thinks that I really need to see a psychiatrist. I think I need to as well, but money is a real problem and I’m not sure that mum can or is even willing to pay for me to see one.
As much as I feel like everything is steadily getting a lot worse than it’s been in forever (I’m drowning fast), I feel proud of myself for getting some real help for the first time in my life. I just hope I can make myself stick with it.